Weekly Tabloid Abducted By Elvis Zombies From Outer Space

Does anyone remember why we are at war with Iraq? If you don’t it was revealed to possess a time tunnel capable of facilitating time travel. Even though the regular media called it a weapon of mass destruction – many of us knew the real reason for the war.

If you never knew that was the reason then you never read the Weekly World News.  It is only “real’ place to get your true news.

How many times have you stood in line at the check at the market and read thru that black and white tabloid? The cover always got your attention with at catchy phase and a odd picture to go along with it.
The Weekly World News has ran stories that George W. Bush was openly campaigning to become the next Pope, that Hillary Clinton  has adopted an alien baby, or that mermaids were found off the US coast.
Most articles are about alien abductions, the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, Elvis, and time travel.

Semi-regular stories follow the progress of Bat Boy, the half-bat, half-boy superhero; and P’lod, an extraterrestrial who became involved in Earth politics and had an affair with Hillary Clinton. Other recurring themes include the oncoming great depression or apocalypse, and newly found lost prophecies.

Weekly World News, the tabloid that for 28 years is to meet the Final Taxi at the end of the month. Its publisher said it will be maintaining only a Web presence. The tabloid’s publisher, American Media Inc., issued a brief statement that announced the Aug. 27 issue would be Weekly World News’ last after a few weeks of reprints. It called the closure necessary “due to the challenges in the retail and wholesale magazine marketplace that have impacted the newsstand.”

The Weekly World News  has had it fun except for when they published startling photographs on the front page of executed serial killer Ted Bundy on the autopsy table. Electrode burns on Bundy’s shaved head with his fixed and dilated pupils staring into space could clearly be seen in the photographs. Surprised officials in Florida vowed to catch the person responsible. Eventually, a low-level employee of the Florida Medical Examiners office was arrested and charged with taking and selling the photographs.

When I first got married we did the things newlyweds do like buying grocery together. We got a kick out of some of the front pages in the WWN, like a lumberjack making Bigfoot his love slave, and would buy an issue for fun. It made good bathroom reading.
One thing is for certain, Americans’ waits in supermarket checkouts will forever be changed with losing that black and white tabloid.

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